Trust Me, Finishing in Second Place Won't Be That Bad...

I Google searched "how much money does the American Idol winner get." The answer is astonishing.

If you don't feel like reading all that, I'll recap. No winner has ever failed to earn less than $1 million, and each of the top five contestants have come home with $100K or more if 'Idol' signs them to a record deal. That record deal is very restrictive, as Carrie Underwood and Kelley Clarkston have found out, but that sort of money is far more than any other new country artist can count on.

In March, I got a peak into how much country artists make, and the answer was also surprising. An artist with one hit (think: Steel Magnolia), is basically keeping up on bills, but not getting ahead even with the most modest lifestyle. An artist with two or three hits, (Think: Justin Moore), is basically making a middle class income. It's not until you're selling out arenas that artists begin raking in the money to cover mansions diamond studded bikinis.

Those cats can't count on the handsome weekly wage 'American Idol' contestants get either. According to the New York Times, each contestant gets paid over $1,000 for a one hour show, and $1500 for the two-hour episodes. Ten weeks on 'Idol' equals about 30 hours of work for an income that is embarrassingly close to my yearly salary.

I knew I was on the wrong side of the radio.

Watch Scotty McCreery chat with the Q-Morning Crew, Part 3

How Lauren Stole 'American Idol' last night...

Let's roll play. We are every guy who's ever tried to break up with a high school girlfriend. Lauren Alaina is that girlfriend.

Us: So, um, listen. I really enjoy hanging out with you but-

Lauren: Me too. I love you so much! I mean, you are just so wonderful!

Us: Yeah, well... you see I'm not sure I can give you what you need.

Lauren: (looks concerned. somewhere deep down in her ultra pure heart the tear factory is starting up)

Us: Yeah, it's just. I think. (long pause) I have too much going on right now, and I can't give you the time -

Lauren: (barely holding back tears) Are you breaking up with me?

Us: Well, I love you. But I'm not "in love" with you.

Lauren: (twenty minutes worth of sobbing, begging, pleading and general pathetic cuteness)

Us: OK, you know what?  You're right.  I'm just being an idiot.  I am in love with you.

Last night on 'Idol' we almost broke up with Lauren, and it didn't go too well. If you saw those tears and that adorable quivering lip, and you felt no compassion, your soul (to quote the Grinch) is an "appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable."

American Idol: Jacob Lusk Eliminated - Amazing videos are here

I'm not sure America can go through that again. If we "dump" James, Haley or (God forbid) Scotty, I think each would be disappointed and grieve privately. We wouldn't have to see it.

Sometimes in life and love, the winner is the one we fear disappointing most and right now Lauren scares the hell out of me.

My senior year of high school I ran into a similar problem. I remained in an unsatisfying relationship for months after initially trying to break up with a really sweet girl. MONTHS! She kept winning me back with that quivering lip. The tight blue jeans helped too, but mostly the quivering lip.

Scotty Needs to Dress for Success...

It's shallow, but let's admit it. There is a small faction of 'Idol' fans voting for Scotty because he's cute. No one's complaining, after all when the competition trims to four, then three and two, McCreery is going to need every vote he can get.

I fear that faction could be getting bored with him however. Every night he walks on stage in a pretty predictable outfit. We've seen amazing growth in Scotty as a singer and entertainer, but not much as dresser. Other contestants have found ways to change it up, while remaining within the comforts of their personality. Perhaps it's Haley crimping her hair, or Casey shaving that beaver off of his face. Jacob came out dressed as a clown last night. I certainly don't want Scotty to emulate that, I'm just asking that he surprise us with something new. He has resources, and should use them.

We need only to revisit Season two to see how important this is. Would Raleigh's Clay Aiken have been as popular if he'd stayed true to the duds that he wore during auditions?