Wednesday, February 23, 2011

If Girl Scouts were allowed to work full time jobs...


I have a solution to the country's economic problems:

Child Labor.

Not any children, just Girl Scouts. And not hard labor... That'd be cruel.

But you put a Girl Scout Troop on a new car lot and by Friday that lot would be fresh out of cars. If Girl Scouts sold insurance, we'd never hear from that duck again. Girl Scout credit card telemarketers... Oh man I'd be in serious financial trouble.

Last weekend I saw the Girl Scouts pushing their delicious cookies outside of the Lowe's foods near my house. I slipped in and did my shopping without being noticed. As the clerk rang me up I could see their sweet faces beaming in each time the automatic door slid open.

"I can't!" I pleaded quietly to myself. "I've got seven boxes in my freezer at home. PLEASE!!! Don't do this to me!"

As I walked toward my destiny I saw the entrance door was accessible. I'm not proud of it, but I cut left, slipped out the back door and to my truck before those excitable darlings could hit me with their sales pitch. "Wud u like sum coooookieeeees?!" they say, eyes full of life and optimism.

If Girl Scouts sold cars, "Wud u like a Ford Fokis?" would be just as effective. In a pinch they'd have to beg, "Pweeeeessssssseeeeee!"

"OK," I would say.

"Great. Abby will help you with financing."
I'm sunk, but at least the economy is booming.

Thank God for child labor laws.

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